ABUJA LOVING THROUGH THE SHORT SIGHTED LENS OF A LAGOS SHARP GIRL- Memo 1: The Knight in Horny Armor 

Don’t get confused, READ

The great thing about this story is that it actually happened on International Girl Child day. As young women, we must understand the demands that the society places on our shoulders. Despite constantly tossed with such nonsense as “weaker vessels”, our responsibilities far outweigh that of the so called “stronger breed”. Some days, wearing your crown with your heads held high might seem too difficult but remember, You haven’t got many choices. Woman up!

Enough of the serious talk. It’s crazy how most girls in Lagos have the effrontery to take Lagos men for granted. What wrong have Lagos boys committed sef  asides inviting you over to cook for the weekend, take you to the movies on discounted rate days and inviting you for drinks at the beach side when their big shot friend is paying the bills?

You see all that makes no attempt to come close to the heinous atrocities of Abuja men. If I met you in Lagos and blocked you for unimaginably ridiculous reasons like a lunch date at Spurs when I asked to eat at Radisson Blu, I take back my foolishness, message me on Facebook.

Back to story…It’s a wet Wednesday night and all seems great till my phone peeps. Ginika ( names have been changed obviously) my dearest was on the other end of the call. I was getting ready to toss her way one of my dry jokes but her tone stopped my tongue and brain from its silliness. She was near tears as she asked that I order an Uber ride for her, ASAP.  Strange thing to note is she left my house barely 45 minutes ago with a dashing TDH x R* young man who has been the topic of 95 percent of our conversation in the last 48 hours.

The word around town is that Mr Prince Charming (name withheld till further notice) charged to her rescue ( not on a horse considering that this is the 21st century, but in a freaking Mercedes Benz SUV) on one of her sexy man hunt disguised as working out days when she nearly passed out from running for about a mile. Blame us all if we imagined Mr Prince Charming  would be an inch ungentlemanly. Soft spoken, handsome and talking about how his ex left his heart broken, even showing the diamond encrusted engagement ring returned to him. The only thing we smelt was “Husband at last”!

15 minutes later, I’m listening to the most horrendous gist of my life. Here you go: 

Obi convinced Ginika that he had to pick up something from his apartment after their date . Worthy of note is that she had added some extra pounds on his Isiewu and chilled Malt.

While she waited patiently in the sitting room for him to pick up whatever stuff he claimed to pick up, he decided in the nick of time that he had to renew his DSTV subscription before taking her home.

You know how they say one thing leads to another? Well the ‘thing’ brought their lips together. It was just supposed to end there but in a matter of seconds, Obi was aiming straight for the goal post. A black, sinewy arm had imprisoned her tiny frame to the cushion while the other slipped through her flimsy top to yank out a helpless nipple.

“Please stop” Ginika whispers in a bid to get their lust frenzied bodies in check but his brain as expected had gone into zombie mode.  He continued to tug a bit roughly at her already assaulted tits, grazing his teeth on the reddened lump of flesh (the reason men think that turns a nun on is baffling…Rolls eyes). Yelling was the only option…It worked. For a second.

“Baby please don’t do this to me. I am already full”. “I can’t , we only just met.”  Ginika retorts as she struggles to get her battered nipples to safety. “Baby please help me because of my health. I will faint here for you”. “No! Please take me home”.

Even the highest ranking Lagos F*** boy and his cohorts of Yoruba demons know better than to drop the next lines…

“I hope you know that since you won’t help me, I won’t drop you off .” He must be joking, she thought.

10 minutes later…

Bob Marley’s “No woman no cry” is blasting from the stereo and Obi is reclined on his cushion doing justice to a blunt.

ABUJA LOVING THROUGH THE SHORT SIGHTED LENS OF A LAGOS SHARP GIRL
Will I see gun and Lie?

 

It was clear she wasn’t getting a ride back home the Mercedes style so she calls Mama Zeus to the rescue.

There goes the death of our Knight in Horny armor. Blocked, unfollowed and now being told as a tale of horror.

I remember asking a question on Facebook a few weeks ago that got quite the attention. I asked “She visited his hotel room. He asked for sex, she refused and he raped her. Who is to blame?”  Last time it was a hotel, today it is his house, if Ginika got raped, would we still justify Obi’s actions based on the fact that she should have known better than to accept a kiss offered in his sitting room?

*TDH x R = Tall , Dark, Handsome x Rich 

 

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8 thoughts on “ABUJA LOVING THROUGH THE SHORT SIGHTED LENS OF A LAGOS SHARP GIRL- Memo 1: The Knight in Horny Armor 

  1. I think I have missed a lot over time. Done some catch up, now I’m a bit up to speed. I didn’t even know you had relocated to Abuja, I was thinking you were on a “lets go and see the twinny” trip.

    Abuja and it’s endless stories. No wonder I was never comfortable in that place even as a guy. These idiots represent all that the masculine species is not.

    Even though I’m a Yoruba demon, I still owe you and twinny a date. See ya.

    Liked by 1 person

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